Paul: Harry! Put your trunks back on! You can't tan your bum in the middle of the beach!
Liam: All these women are barely clothed! They need to respect themselves more!
Zayn: I look better than you. And you. And you.
Niall: Will anyone come swim with me?
Paul: Louis! Put your trunks back on! You too Harry!
Liam: These women have FATHERS! If I gave them my clothes, do you think they would cover up?!
Zayn: Oh my god, what if I get sand in my hair?!
Harry: Mother of god, look at all these pussies!
Paul: Harry! This is public nudity! NO LOUIS, DON'T CLIMB ON TOP OF HARRY, THAT MAKES IT WORSE!
Niall: Liam, I just ate ice cream and then went swimming! Am I going to die?!
Liam: Those men need to cover up too. Those speedos are simply not okay.
Louis: If my bum gets burned, can Harry rub aloe on it?
Zayn: My abs are better than yours. Don't look at me that way, you know I'm hotter than you.
Paul: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HARRY! THIS ISN'T A NUDIST COLONY, IT'S ILLEGAL NOT TO BE CLOTHED. LOUIS, GET OFF OF HARRY! LIAM, STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE THOSE YOUNG LADIES TO PUT ON CLOTHES!
Niall: I don't want to die! I'm too young! I didn't mean to go in the water right after eating!